Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to Insightful Questions, Eastside Prep's monthly podcast. In our third season, we will feature conversations with members of the EPS community, all centered around this year's theme, Responsible Action. Care through clarity. I'm your host, Sam Uzwak.
In today's episode, we're talking about student leadership. How students lead in ways both big and small. How they care for their communities, and how clarity of purpose make that care meaningful. And we're lucky to be joined by four people who bring different perspectives to that experience.
First, we have Paul Hagan, our director of student well being, who supports students social and emotional development and and helps us think deeply about how we care for one another across the school. Hey, Paul.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: Hi, Sam.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: Next is Carla Harris, our student activities coordinator who works closely with student leaders on everything from event planning to community building initiatives. Hey, Carla.
[00:01:09] Speaker C: Hey.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: We're also joined by Javier, an eighth grade student who is an active member of the middle school leadership lab. Hey, Javier.
[00:01:16] Speaker C: Hello.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: And Roya, the communication chair of our upper school student leadership council.
[00:01:21] Speaker D: Hi, senior.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: Thank you all for being here. So let's go ahead and jump right into the conversation. Okay, so this first one is for everyone.
Can you tell us about a time when someone's leadership, big or small, totally made your day better.
[00:01:35] Speaker C: So a time when someone's leadership. It was kind of helpful for me. During soccer practice. I kind of made a really big mistake before I was supposed to receive a pass. The thing is, I didn't think that the pass was going to go to me. So after I messed up and made a really big mistake, quite a few people were getting a bit mad at me. Someone else stepped up to help out and defend me. Harris helped out a lot with, you know, me getting my confidence back that day because I was stressing out about that big mistake.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: Oh, that's a great example. Thank you for sharing that. How about you, Roya?
[00:02:07] Speaker D: Yeah, I think sports is a really great example, but mine is all seems a lot smaller. Actually, I think it was my first day of school and I could not find the art room for the life of me. And sometimes I still struggle to find art room. To be completely honest, I decided that the worst thing I could do was not ask somebody. So I just. I found somebody probably was a scary senior at that point. I was like, hey, could you help me find the art room? And they were like, yes, I'd love to. This is my name, you know, this is my grade. I don't actually remember who it was. And they just walked me out of the art room. Got me all settled in and yeah, it was just really cool. Every time they saw me in the hallway, they'd say hi to me, be like, hey, did you find the art room today? Yep, I did, but that was really cool. It made the big community feel a lot smaller in that moment.
[00:02:51] Speaker E: I think for me, most of the time it's when I'm lugging all of the things around and people are offering like open doors or help carry things. That's always, like, helpful when I've got a lot of stuff. Today I had a few kids from study hall help me, like, lug a bunch of the Halloween decorations from the library over to Building 12.
So, like, even students in their leadership were able to.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:16] Speaker E: Support us as adults.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: That's great.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: I think it's really interesting. The examples we've heard are relatively small.
And it reminds me that leadership to me at its core, is really about service to others.
And that means that for leadership to be very effective, you need to have the perspective of others. You know, whether we call that maybe empathy or just even an awareness of, like, where the need is. And I can think of a lot of examples of really small actions where people are sort of checking in, hey, everything okay today? Or can I help you with that one thing as a really powerful example of day to day leadership that happens kind of all over the place here.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: Thank you for those stories. I appreciate it. So this one's for the students.
What made you say, yes, I want to be a student leader? Was it an inspiring moment? Was it a cool project?
Or was it maybe just wanting to fix something that bothered you?
[00:04:14] Speaker C: For me personally, it was when I first joined the school. So I didn't know a lot of people at first. I only knew Barakit and Elim, who were also from the same program, Rainier Scholars. Because of that, I didn't really feel that confident, especially because most students already had a good amount of confidence and they already had their own friend groups made. So I was kind of struggling to fit in for the first week. So that was kind of hard for me because of that. It was a moment where I thought that it would be nice to help out new students who either didn't have friend groups or were just struggling socially overall. At the sport court, for example, I might sometimes try to help out fifth graders who might be new or maybe some different students who are new in different grades.
Me, Sean, I was hanging out a lot with him for the first week until he started to build his own social groups as well.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: That's amazing. Thank You.
[00:05:03] Speaker D: That's awesome. I really wish somebody had been there for me doing that when I was in fifth grade. I think for me, it was more a perspective of looking to fix something that was bugging me. I'm a big proponent of don't kill the part of you that's cringe. Kill the part of you that cringes. Because I really think that, you know, being all into spirit days, like Wacky Wednesday or whatever is a really cool thing to do to build community. And I noticed that people didn't enjoy dressing up for Spirit Day, and I felt like that was because it wasn't really representing what our community wanted to do for Spirit Week. I went on a limb. I'll try for community outreach co chair, because I knew that that was kind of the position to do that. And I went all in. Silly speech. I gave out candy. And I think that, like, being in the Compassionate Leadership camp this summer then allowed me to be like, oh, wait, actually, this is something that I heard people talking about that they didn't enjoy. How can I amplify the voices of the people that helped me get into the position that I am, and then how can I fix the things and, like, have leadership in that area? Which was really, really enlightening for me to kind of explore that.
[00:06:04] Speaker A: I think both of those examples speak to what Mr. Hagen, Paul, whoever you are, was actually talking about. I think sometimes I know that when I was younger, I had really particular models of leaders, and it always seemed to be this sort of, like, follow me, like, it's all about me, the leader. And in every example y' all have shared so far, it's been about my service to others. How do I prop others up? How do I amplify their voices? That's the role of a leader, right? Oh, that's fantastic to hear. So, Carla, what don't you do around here? I mean, we got dances.
[00:06:40] Speaker E: That's a small list.
[00:06:41] Speaker A: Yeah, right. Much smaller list than the list of what you do. So from dances to spirit weeks and clubs, you know, you get a front row seat to student leadership in action. And so I'm curious about one time that students totally nailed it, especially when it came to staying organized and clear, you know, even if there was a little chaos along the way, I think.
[00:07:03] Speaker E: That what I have seen are, like, both small and large.
So, for example, tomorrow, SLC is hosting our second annual pep rally for homecoming week. And that started last year. And I think that was a great example of something that the students totally nailed. Like, they had this vision of Something that they wanted to do, something that they wanted to try and see how they could do that. And it was a success last year. The kids had a blast. They were really proud of the product that they put together.
[00:07:30] Speaker C: And.
[00:07:30] Speaker E: And I think the kids came in this year and were like, yeah, we want to do that again. A small example is like the student run clubs. Like, that's just a small example of like, things that they do well in organizing. Like, the students are responsible for planning their club meetings every week and doing the projects that they work on and events and stuff that they host and things like that. I've always said that the part of my job that I like is the fact that I can kind of help the kids sort of fail safely. Nothing that they do, even something big like a homecoming dance, to something small where it's like leading a club every Thursday, even if they fail at it, it's not the end of the world. But there's so much that they can learn from those moments. Like, oh, that didn't work out well, what can I do next time?
[00:08:11] Speaker A: That is an incredible skill you possess. I mean, all of us want kids to succeed, but sometimes we know we have to hold back and let students experience a little bit of stress or maybe a small failure. Like, it didn't come out exactly as you wanted, but it still came out. And knowing when to lean in and provide support, but also knowing when to hang, that the lesson emerges isn't that hard.
[00:08:35] Speaker E: Yeah, because you see their vision and you want it to go well for them. So there's so many times where I could be like, okay, I'm gonna do all the things because, right, they've got classes or they've got MAs or whatever. And I'm like, they need to learn. They've got to sort of manage the time.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: Do you want to add in, Roya?
[00:08:48] Speaker D: Yeah. I think that's such a big thing in SLC because we have meetings, I mean, almost every single day at lunch, and we're juggling all these different activities. And there are so many times that I felt overwhelmed with. But I've also noticed that the more that I do it, the less overwhelmed I feel, the more effective and efficient I am at planning things out and making sure that I am covering all my bases and not being stretched too thin. And the other great thing is I've never felt bad about asking for help. And that's been. I think what's helped me grow so much is being able to feel comfortable and reaching out and being like, hey, I'm Overwhelmed. Can you take this from me? And knowing that I have people around.
[00:09:21] Speaker A: Me to support, Wonderful. So, Paul, everyone gathered here today knows that leading is not always smooth sailing. What do you notice when students, or adults for that matter, face challenges with composure and care rather than panic or blame?
[00:09:40] Speaker B: Yeah, it's interesting. I think something happens when the plan isn't going as planned. Our ego takes over and we get emotional. And in that emotion, sometimes we can play the blame game. Sometimes we feel embarrassed. You know, students can say, I had this great idea.
Somehow I'm failing at executing that idea. And that can create actually sort of this snowball effect of a lot of anxiety around it. I think students who are successful in this. Roya just said she's gotten more and more comfortable asking for help. One of the things that is true is none of us are doing anything all on our own. So leadership isn't about being the hard charger who's doing all of it yourself. It's about building a team around you who can help execute that. Knowing when to ask for help, knowing when you say, hey, this isn't going to work right now, or perhaps the timeline isn't going to work the way we had initially anticipated.
And taking that breath, slowing down, figuring out, hey, we might be hitting a roadblock here. There's a solution through that. So what's the step forward? And doing that with others, I think, is a really important way to get through those difficult moments.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: So imagine a random Tuesday at EPS any given day.
What does community care look like? Not just in the big projects, but the everyday stuff that shows people are paying attention.
[00:11:09] Speaker D: What I've loved recently is wearing a Mariner's jersey to school and seeing everybody else also wearing a Mariner's jersey or a Mariner's hat. And that's really cool because people will call out like, oh, yo, did you see the game? Or oh, you gonna watch the game? I had people be like, oh my gosh, you like the Mariners? You should come over to my house. We'll watch it together. Which has been really cool. And even outside of the Mariners, I'll wear a concert T shirt, and people will just randomly come up to me and start talking about music. And that's cool to me because it's not just the big things, like making sure that people know you for who you are and then being able to connect with people across. That has been an awesome example of feeling cared for in a community.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: For me, I think that would mostly just be inclusion overall. So this can probably range from one Thing to another. Again, going back to what I was saying earlier, it could be including someone when they're looking lonely or left out, whether it be just adding them into a game that we're playing or a conversation and filling them in as to what might be happening, and probably just like trying to make jokes with them, just that then they feel included and happy alongside all of us.
[00:12:08] Speaker B: I think both of those are really good examples of this. I mean, to me, a big piece of this is belonging. And belonging really starts with being known. Whether it's the Mariners, go Mariners, or you know, what other piece there is there to be known by others within the community means you have that in to feel true sense of belonging.
And that really is what care is all about.
On any given day, there are a million little things that will take place where students, faculty, and staff are connecting with one another and recognizing the individuality of others and creating an environment of belonging to.
And I think that's really at the heart of this.
[00:12:51] Speaker E: Yesterday we had our volleyball game, and there was a student as an example of all of this. One of the seniors were trying to get the kids to clean up after the game, and there was pizza plates everywhere and just trash and wrappers. And so the chaperones who were assigned to that event kind of went to the kids and were during a timeout, hey, can you guys clean up? And one of the seniors pulled one of the teachers aside and said, don't worry about it. The seniors will handle it afterwards.
And it wasn't just words, because then when the game was over, we did see that senior walking around with a trash can, collecting things and putting things away, little stuff like that, you know, that they were true to their word. But I remember at the beginning of the year when the seniors were headed to their overnight, it was Ann that was saying, everybody's looking up to you, even though you're still a student as seniors, the fifth graders are looking up to you, and the seventh graders and even the juniors are looking up to you. And so that's just by proxy, like, who you are as your status in the school as seniors. And they hopefully took that to heart in that moment.
[00:13:47] Speaker A: I think it's really important to remember that one form of leadership is simply modeling what you expect. It's not saying, look at what I'm doing and look at me leading. It's just doing it.
I think especially for students who find themselves in the positions and 8th graders do and 12th graders do. I mean, there might be a question like, yeah, but I didn't sign up for that. And that holds for the. The adults in the building as well. If I wear a new shirt, someone notices. It's really disconcerting.
But it's a really good reminder that as I'm walking down the hall thinking I'm alone, I'm modeling. So if Paul and I are having a disagreement, which doesn't happen very often, but happens because, you know, conflict happens, disagreements happen, someone's going to see how we engage in that, how we work through it. And if I am aggressive or if I'm, you know, if I'm behaving in a way that I would not in leadership lab give a lecture about how to be a leader, you know, that's the lesson that gets learned. Here's a question for our students. If you could wave a magic whiteboard marker and make one thing clearer at school about expectations or events or leadership or anything, what would it be and why?
[00:15:03] Speaker C: Just being mindful about your volume when you're talking. Because sometimes it could get, you know, a bit too loud in study hall or passing period. You know what? It could also be comments or kind of just like thinking and factoring in what might be going on for others.
[00:15:19] Speaker D: What I wish was made a little bit clearer was the reflective nature of the EPS community. I do a lot of self reflection for, like, homework, self grading, stuff like that, which is great to have the power to be thoughtful about that. But I think I also hear a lot about students who don't want to give themselves four because they feel like they're giving themselves too much credit or anything. And that always hits me and I'm like, no, if you do the work, you deserve to feel accomplished and give yourself that grade. And so I wish that we talked a little bit more about, yes, living up to your own expectations, but also being proud of what you do.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Okay, so here's the last one for everyone.
If our school could do one thing this year that shows what care through clarity really means, what would you want it to be?
[00:16:05] Speaker B: I think, you know, I mentioned at the very top of this that at the heart of leadership is service to others. And I think about building community a lot and the value of doing this thing called school together.
And that requires that everyone needs to pay really close attention to others within our community. I think it ties in with the care through clarity in that if we are aware of the needs of others around us and we really listen to those needs, it goes both ways. And to be able to have that dialogue really is what not only education is about, but what community is about.
And to me, I would love to see our school lean more into that. Am I just talking at you? Am I just shooting emails off to people, or are we really engaged in a dialogue where I try to understand you, you try to understand me, and we can connect around this common project of eastside prep?
[00:17:05] Speaker D: Yeah, I really like that. I think that the idea of belonging is really central to caring through clarity. I think if the school as a whole could do one thing this year, I would say just honestly encouraging people to know the other people around them. Do you know my name? But do you know about me? Do you know what interests me? Something about me that's special? Do you know that I play for a soccer team? Encouraging having that dialogue because that's what makes the community so strong. It is.
[00:17:31] Speaker C: So I'm kind of adding on. We could probably build onto that. Because I sometimes stay stuck in one friend group instead of trying to branch out when I'm not trying to invite new students into our activities. Because I have one main friend group, I don't really move on to other ones, which is something that I do struggle with, similar to what she was talking about.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: Javier, let me know you something that's not just a student thing.
That's something that I think all of us adult students, it doesn't matter your age.
Sometimes it can feel really hard to break out of those groups. But I think usually when you do, there's some really great rewards. I really appreciate that point.
[00:18:10] Speaker E: Yeah, I think that what would be great would be, yes, knowing the students, the students knowing each other, Providing some more, I guess, explicit content around some of the expectations that we have for the students. We're a very trusting community. We give the students a lot of freedom.
But I think with that comes some responsibilities. And I think that a lot of times students just get to a place where they could take those things for granted, Putting some content behind that. And why? Because we care. We want to make sure you're safe. And it's not, here's a rule, you need to do it talking to the students one on one.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: When you have such an amazing group of critical thinkers as we do in our community, adults and students alike, if I have an expectation or a rule, I necessarily better have the why. Where I've gotten into trouble and I've had to go back to some people and repair a situation, it's rarely because of the actual decision.
It's usually because I didn't take the time to explain the context or the rationale or the why. And Frankly, I think everyone deserves the why because. The why is not because. The head of school said so. The why is reasoned. And it's not tied to me. It's tied to the mission. It's tied to the vision. It's tied to the fact that we're a community.
I appreciate that reminder.
Well, listen, y', all, thank you so much for sharing your stories and your amazing leadership experiences at eps. Leadership shows up in everyday moments when we support each other, when we speak up, or when we lead with care.
As we continue exploring responsible action care through clarity, let's keep noticing how small, thoughtful actions can strengthen our community.
Thanks for tuning in to insightful questions, and we'll see you next time for more insights. Be sure to check out the EPS Weekly News every Friday.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: Sam.
